It’s all the fault of the traps of thinking, love of drama and other internal attitudes.
We live in an unpredictable world. Sometimes problems fall on our heads like a cornucopia. But more often everything is much more prosaic: we ourselves invent difficulties and unnecessary experiences for ourselves and make our life more difficult. This is usually due to five factors that periodically affect each of us.
Table of Contents
1. Obsession with the complexity of life
Confucius once said: “In fact, life is simple, but we persistently complicate it.” And even if the great Chinese philosopher did not say anything like that, this is a very accurate idea.
When we are faced with a difficult situation, we often focus on its insurmountability instead of trying to solve the problem in a simple way. We succumb to the so-called complexity bias. It is a thinking trap that forces us to focus on the intractable 10% of the problem, while ignoring the easy to overcome 90%.
The next time a difficult situation comes your way, move away from thinking about how difficult it will be to deal with it. Instead, come up with strategies to help you cope with everything. Ask yourself the question, what will be the result if you solve this problem “head-on”: everything will be even more difficult or will become a little easier.
For example, layoffs are coming at work , and your financial situation is no less deplorable than that of the company, so you cannot lose your job. Do not rush to pull out your hair, but get down to business. Write and send a resume to the companies you are interested in, talk to your boss and find out what the chances are that you will still be fired.
In any case, obsession with complexities does not help in any way. Only actions, even the simplest ones, will get rid of the problem.
- Why we screw ourselves up and how to stop doing it
2. Constant worry
Emotionality is part of human nature. We get angry, happy, stressed, and all these feelings make us human.
However, emotions and experiences do not always have a positive effect on our behavior and mental well-being. For example, constant anxiety. She steals our energy. And the more we worry, the more difficult our life seems to us.
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Unfortunately, not all of us believe that the glass is half full. For many, a positive outlook on the world requires serious self-improvement and constant training. Several things can help you deal with anxiety:
- breathing exercises ;
- cardio training;
- keeping a diary;
- yoga ;
- listening to music;
- chat with friends.
Find out more😰
- How to beat anxiety when you can’t “just calm down”
3. Desire to control everything
We are all afraid of something: failure, our own death, or the loss of loved ones. Often we use total control to “bury” our fears deeper and not face them.
If you feel like making certain decisions because of a need to control, stop. Such a feature is a sign that a person lives in fear and is afraid to let life take its course. We need to try to accept our experiences and realize that there are things that will always be out of our control.
When you understand that the meaning of life is to deal with difficulties as they come, you will be much happier.
- Control freak: how to stop being in control and not infuriate others
4. Shifting responsibility for your life
Some of us are used to sticking our happiness to another person. This person can be a mom, best friend, or life partner. But, whatever one may say, those around us are not able to make us happy. This feeling arises only within ourselves.
When we rely on others for personal happiness, we lose ourselves. We begin to do our best to please others and earn their approval. And this is only exhausting and does not bring absolutely any benefit.
Take a deep breath, listen to yourself and answer the question, how do you want to live your life: so that you believe in yourself and appreciate yourself, or so that your value depends on the opinions of others, most often strangers?
5. Excessive dramatization
The source of constant drama in life can be both relationships with toxic people who always spoil our life, and ourselves. Some of us just get bored without drama and personal “disasters.” Such people are not used to dealing with difficulties and obstacles and prefer to complain about life rather than act.
If you recognize someone you know in this portrait, it is better to limit communication with them . When they load you with their contrived problems, take a deep breath and decide how to respond to the situation so that you don’t get sucked into this endless negativity.
If this description sounds like you, you might want to work on self-acceptance by seeing a counselor, reading the right books, and confirming your decision to change for the better. Get ready for long and hard work inside. Once you become more courageous and confident, you can overcome negativity and dramatic attitudes towards problems.
Unfortunately, life is not only about pleasant moments, it is full of black bars. And they can become even more unbearable if we complicate things. Listen to yourself, ignore negative thoughts, choose positive – and life will become much easier and more pleasant.